Jana Lee Tobias
Wed, Apr 25, 2012
Subject: Mom Mission Impossible
Here’s the link:
Regards, Janalee Tobias, So. Jordan, UT
To a documentary a SaltLakeCommunity College student made about me a few years ago and posted it to youtube last year:
And…FYI…here’s the script that accompanied this scene:
MUSIC: Mission Impossible
(_____________ walks across the stage with Mission Impossible movie logo)
(Setting: Relief Society President in a lady’s skirt suit and tie (Jennifer Young) sitting behind a table with a lace tablecloth and a bouquet of flowers. A boombox tape recorder sits in the middle. A few (six) Relief Society sisters walk in with pretty dresses, hiding their “secret agent” costumes and sit down.)
Jennifer: Ladies, thanks’much fer comin’ to our special meeting today. It’s time for our special weekly instructions from Division Seven, who oversees and guides our activities. Sure preeshee-atecha! (Ladies put their secret agent costumes on: Trench coats, glasses, blue tooth headset, telephone headset, some moms can have baby slings, baby in a backpack, etc. Then Jennifer puts a tape in and pushes “play.”)
(Show the video of ladies doing these things in fast motion):
Good Morning Impossible Missions Force Secret Agents! Several thousand years ago paradise was interrupted when Mother Eve tempted Adam to take a bite of the apple. This caused an explosion of humans who need an abundance of love and attention. Your mission, secret agents, should you choose to accept it, is to: (Read in a voice like on the commercials where they’re talking the “legal ease.” While voice is talking, there will be a movie playing in the background demonstrating ladies doing tasks in “fast mode.”) (While ladies are watching this movie, they’re falling off their chairs and mouths are open—like—how are we supposed to do all this stuff?)
Get your children groomed for church services and attend all church meetings, prepare church lessons, and plan church activities. Go to choir practice and any auxiliary meetings such as firesides, and prepare delicious Sunday dinners. Help ward members who ask for favors. Prepare your children for baptisms, scouting and young women achievement awards, missions and temple marriage. Hold family home evenings. Attend the temple, do your visiting teaching. Write in your journal, facebook and e-mails. Do extractions. Do missionary work. Read the Ensign. Pay your tithing. Have personal and family prayer and scripture study and make time for the hubby. Study and write your family histories. Attend funerals. Work a full or part-time job. Work at the cannery, take dinners to families who need help. Prepare three meals a day for your family. Help with their homework and stay up past midnight if you have to, mend their clothes, sew dance costumes, wash and care for sports uniforms. If you don’t sew, learn to use duct tape. Shop for your kids’ birthdays, their friends’ birthdays, wedding receptions, baby showers, wrap presents. Take your children to dance lessons, piano lessons, band lessons, sports practices, the library and extra trips to stores for homework projects and other items. Take care of sick children, doctor and hospital visits, dentists, and braces. Listen to your children who have emotional problems and know all the answers to tell them. Pick up socks, shoes, hair accessories, books, food wrappers, toys, even clean up vomit and other gross stuff, and keep the floors swept and clean and the kitchen tidy and free of dirty dishes and bathrooms sparkly clean. Wash and fold laundry every day. Take care of your aging parents and your grandkids. Help family members who need it. Babysit other people’s kids almost all the time. Mow, weed, and water the lawn and garden. Harvest your crops. Get your food storage and 72-hour kits. Help your kids shop for school dances and other activities. Help pass out fliers for an upcoming school board meeting. Vote. Take your children to early morning practices and pick them up after school practices. Feed and water your pets. Make sure you always have some treats to eat and the freezer stocked with ice cream. And keep your fridge and cupboards stocked with plenty of groceries. (Slower) Oh…and always look like a super model.
(Normal voice) As always, should you or any of your IM Force be caught or killed, the secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions. This tape will self-destruct in five seconds. Good luck ladies.
R.S. sister: But that’s impossible!
Jennifer: Have faith Secret Agent Sisters! With God, nothing is impossible!
(Music—end of the Mission Impossible theme.)
Tags: Funny LDS Video, Funny Mormon Mom Video, Funny Mormon Mommy Video, Funny Mormon Video, Home Schooling Moms, Jana Lee Tobias, Mission Impossible for Moms, Stay at Home Mom Mission, Stay at Home Moms, Working Moms